Soldiers

army.jpg
Moreover, their inability to operate weaponry and machinery would make them poor soldiers.

40 Responses to “Soldiers”

  1. Kremmen says:

    The discipline required by members of the armed forces would also difficult to instill into felines as they are well known for being difficult to train.

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  2. lulzfish says:

    Since they are so small, they are more likely to be stepped on by human members of the army than they are to do any good.

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  3. And of course… opposable thumbs!

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  4. DanFodder says:

    Cats could keep mice out of barracks though.

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  5. sophie says:

    Aah but you are all forgetting that if cats were in the army then they would be up against other cats and so there would be a fair fight, as for training them they would happily defend their teritory

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  6. CaptainFanboy says:

    Actually, they would probably be fighting dogs.

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  7. BoB says:

    I often hear cats fighting at night. They are usually on my roof – fighting each other. They are either defending their territory – or after a female in heat. [*hot*cat*on*a* hot*tin*roof*] But dogs can’t get up on the roof.

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  8. Saverage says:

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  9. YourAverageCatPerson says:
    You guys have got to be kidding… I mean, having some para-cats come down on enemy territory would be pretty traumatizing. And they would land on their feet.

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  10. Nob says:

    Cats would not be able to say “yes drill sergeant” and would therefore be expelled from the army. Their inability to speak human language is to blame.

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  11. Anthony says:

    Cat’s can talk, you just don’t think they can, therfore they don’t speak to you.

    My cat is listed in the army, and is currently serving in Afganistan thank you very much!

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  12. Tom says:

    Actually, cats have proven themselves as skilled on the battlefield, and in cases even awarded rank and medals.
    See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_(Amethyst’s_cat)

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  13. jimi sweet says:

    my cat freddie mercury is a conscientious objector. he faces imprisonment.

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  14. Brian says:

    Yeah, but that’s one hell of a good-lookin’ Maine Coon.

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  15. ORLY says:

    Don’t ask. Don’t tail.

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  16. LOL_Arse says:

    ummm, dogs are members of the police force AND the US military without being able to say “yes, sir”. they just sniff out drugs and bombs and such. Also, a cat could be dead useful in carrying biological weapons to the enemy… one cute, fluffy kitty wanders in the enemy camp, you hit the switch, and BLAM — they’ve all got Ebola. Pity, so does the cat, and you’ll never see Fluffy again. (can cats get ebola? I just pondered that right now…)

    I’m just sayin, it’s possible.

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  17. Weqzl says:

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  18. jj says:

    Humans fight, cats don’t because they are our masters and we do their bidding.

    Silly people, why would our overlords exert themselves when they have humans to do it for them?

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  19. wacokid says:

    Cats do not need conventional weapons to be dangerous. Now shut up and feed me, human.

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  20. lorrainecontant says:

    they’d make great spies

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  21. Jimmy says:

    But dogs did at one time join the army and were part of it as a way to cheer up soldiers. I don’t see why cats could not do the same.

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  22. Jeff C says:
    Actually, cats have a long and storied military tradition. Thousands of years ago, the Persians sent them out in the vanguard as shock troops when attacking the Egyptians, thinking (correctly) that the religious hesitance of the Egyptians to harming cats would give the Persians a strategic edge. In the 1500s, Germans attached poison gas cans to cats and sent them out to the enemy camp. In WWII, the OSS looked into attaching bombs to cats and dropping them out of planes near enemy ships so the cat would swim over to the ship if it hit the water, correcting poor aim. Colonel Fred J. Christensen brought a cat called Sinbad up in the cockpit with him for dogfights. During the Cold War, the CIA spent ~$15 million fitting a cat with internal listening and radio broadcast equipment, although the project was scrapped after their first cat was run over while crossing the street.

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  23. LOL says:

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  24. GIR says:

    “It’s MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i was the turkey all along”

    BoB, just so you know they are possums, they just sound like cats
    But i don’t understand why there is no Lol Squirrel sites, makes me sad, like cat’s getting killed :’(

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  25. Anjie says:

    If someone sent me a cat during war I would think they wanted to call a truce so I’d put my gun down to hold the kitty. It’d probably be a decoy truce-cat though and I’d get blown up or something. (sigh) Decoy-cat wins again.

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  26. Bailee says:

    Yo! You’re all missing the point…. Well not all of you. Cats CAN be in the army. Actually, they are. Sure, (sadly, though) many die, but at least they were serving their country. I don’t like the idea of bombs being strapped to them, but i get the point Jeff C. They can give recruits letters from the other recruits. Merry Meowmas! :’( cats get killed………..

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  27. Bailee says:

    It’s sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sowwy……………..

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  28. SnazzyCactus says:

    I think cats alone could win the war.

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  29. insanityinside says:

    Bears, however, can.
    http://www.badassoftheweek.com/voytek.html

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  30. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah says:

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  31. Dusk says:

    Unfortunately, in the past they have been used in war, as were dogs. Bombs would be strapped to them and they would be sent into enemy territory. =[

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  32. hermione granger says:

    I think that if we cast a few spells, maybe replaced a few with animagus, they could be in the army!

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